


Ask Me To Stay

by Danger_Floof_Floof



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, M/M, No seriously this is gonna get sad, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-01-27 11:42:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danger_Floof_Floof/pseuds/Danger_Floof_Floof
Summary: "We're all killersWe've all killed parts of ourselves to survive.We've all got blood on our hands.Something somewhere had to die so we could stay alive."
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 26
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have other works to do but I have dove head first into Dimiclaude and well here we are.   
No beta as usual

The sun was slowly falling, the hints of gold creeping across the sky disappearing as night came. The first day here at the monastery had gone as Dimitri had expected it to; awkward greetings and fast paced schedules. Now, however, he finally had some time to wander around and appreciate the place where he would be studying and training.

He was wandering aimlessly around the gazebo when he spotted someone standing beside one of the rose bushes. He was a student like him but judging by the uniform, he was not of the same house as Dimitri. From where he was standing, Dimitri could see the student had dark brown hair with a braid dangling on his shoulder. His stance was relaxed and he was simply staring at the stars, nothing special really, but there was something about the stranger that held Dimitri’s attention.

“Good evening, stranger.” The voice was quiet and neutral, but it made him start guiltily at having been caught staring.

The stranger stared back at him, curious and friendly. Their eyes flashed with some emotion Dimitri could not catch and then the student was striding towards him, hands behind his back, a smile on his handsome face because yes, he was handsome indeed. The moonlight shone down on the stranger’s eyes and he realized this man was not only handsome but he had eyes that were bright and soft all at once. Emerald eyes that clung to every ray of light they could.

A flush of pink dusted Dimitri’s cheeks and he looked away, embarrassed and desperately hoping this student hadn’t seen it.

“G-Good evening,” Dimitri silently cursed himself for stuttering upon first words. He straightened himself and forced himself to make eye contact with the person. “Are you a student here as well?”

It was a stupid question because, of course he would be a student here. He had the uniform and he looked to be the same age as himself but, regrettably, that was the only thing he could think to say.

“Yeah.” The stranger nodded. “That would make us peers. What are you doing out so late?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Dimitri blurted and realized that sounded a bit rude, it’s not like he was suspecting this student of anything. He quickly made to correct himself. “I apologize, that sounded a bit rude. I was just wandering around the monastery and, truthfully, I didn’t expect to encounter anyone.”

A small smile spread across the student’s face. “That’s understandable. I was also wandering. It’s a nice place but I’m eager to find out any secrets this place is hiding.”

The excitement in his voice told Dimitri that this student would probably cause some mischief in the future. He wasn’t sure he wanted any part of that since he was here to study and train, he had no time for mischief.

“I see.”

“Would you like to join me?”

Dimitri stared at him, surprised by the sudden question. “Ah… Excuse me?” 

“Would you like to go for a stroll with me? Seeing as how neither of us are going back to our rooms anytime soon, right?”

Dimitri nodded dumbly and was not prepared for the student to reach out and grab his hand, dragging him along with him. He kept pace with the student and only then realized that they had not introduced themselves properly.

“By the way, my name is Dimitri” Dimitri said. “And you are?”

“Claude.”

➵

_ Claude. _

The biting cold barely affected Dimitri as he trudged through the bloodied snow. He stepped over dead bodies, stopping only to clean the blood off of his lance with one of the dead bodies's coats. He thinks he might recognize some of these men.

_ Claude. _

The cold stung the bruises and wounds on his body, seeped into his clothes. And he allowed it — allowed the chilling blasts of the winter wind attempt to soothe the jagged edges of his heart; hoping that it would numb the pain entirely.

Someday perhaps. But not today, for there was an unexpected warmth.

"I thought I would find you here."

Dimitri did not so much as flinch at the unexpected but painfully familiar voice. He turned around slowly to face the intruder who shattered his state of serenity. He closed his eyes briefly, expecting a wave of pain that would undoubtedly arise upon seeing his visitor — but he felt nothing. Only a faint warmth.

His eyes were caught and held by familiar green eyes held by a double fan of lashes, eyes as breathtakingly serene as the illusion he left behind. The faintest hints of a smile played on those lush lips, though it could have been a trick on his eyes due to the winds.

"I hope you aren’t planning on staying in the snow like that. Might catch a cold." his visitor said, his voice light but with a quiet concern in it that Dimitri remembered well. "And if you get sick, who will take care of you?"

Dimitri did not reply. A strange numbness seized his mind, rendering any attempt at speaking useless. He knew he should have turned away and gone about his business, ignored any and all distractions just as he had done before, but he just stared at the visitor, knowing that the other could not be here; not wanting the other here to see him this way.

His visitor moved forward walking into the snow and although the wind blew in his direction, his golden cape did not move (and Dimitri noticed he looked exactly like he remembered him which concerned him because his visitor must be cold in just that uniform with no coat). He moved forward, wading deeper into the snow until he stood directly in front of Dimitri. Dimitri stared at the one before him, so much shorter than he was, trying to calm the noise within him - his visitor was there, but he could not feel them. 

_ Claude. _

Dimitri once again stared blankly at his visitor, trying once again to grasp at the emotions that lingered at the edge of his awareness — if only to understand why this person was here now. And then try and beat them back down into his consciousness. He preferred the numbness.

He desperately wanted not to care anymore.

The silence between them stretched. Neither of them had anything to say. Words seemed pathetic nowadays. Until...

"Damn you." The words came out with surprising vehemence — for all he couldn't bring himself to tell, for all he had left unsaid in the past. The words fell like gravel and drove into the silence between them. But those eyes kept watching him. "Damn them all." And then he laughed, a shocking, bitter sound that bubbled from his soul; releasing just a little of the pent up pressure there. The anger that he felt just a second ago, the flaming haze that came from nowhere and enveloped everything finally subsided — leaving in him, only its charred remains. He felt so tired.

"What do you want? Why do you keep coming back?" Dimitri asked at length, bitterness on his tongue, weariness in his words. He received no reply, though he expected that.

His visitor cupped Dimitri's face in his hands. Those serene green eyes that held his were mesmerising - vivid, lucent gems of startling clarity. And in them, they held a world of empathy, understanding and immeasurable kindness.

No one wore kindness, the way Claude did.

_ Claude. _

"I don’t— "Barely a whisper, a pained rasp clouded by tears he no longer knew how to shed. His whole body was shaking, dry sobs tore from his throat, his spirit flayed open —naked and yearning— begging the eyes that held him to do something. Anything.

Claude leaned on the tip of his toes and, with infinite gentleness, pressed a kiss to his neck. His whispering lips trailed upwards to just below his ear then lower, to the crook of his neck before pulling back to place his hand on his forehead. It was unusually warm, warmer than it had ever been.

Dimitri quietly watched Claude’s lucent form dissolve before him.

"Claude?" Dimitri called into the air but the darkness had already arrived and he fell.

Only, this time, he did not hit the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

Dimitri quietly let himself in Claude’s room, a small smile on his face. He closed the door soundlessly behind him, the motion practiced.

After their first meeting, Dimitri had quickly learned more of who Claude was. He learned what he believed in, how he treated others, how intelligent he was, how caring, how full of surprises he really was. He began to enjoy the sound of Claude’s voice and thought that he could listen to it all day if he could. He enjoyed the nicknames Claude had given him despite he himself saying he did not enjoy it, it was a lie. He began to  _ notice  _ small things about Claude like the way his head tilted when he was curious or how his eyes often scanned the area, always on the alert. He notices expressions Claude makes, the winks he so freely gives or the furrow of his brows when he is concerned. And one day when Claude places his hands on Dimitri’s shoulders from behind, Dimitri can’t stop thinking about it. He finds himself craving the touch again and finds little excuses to touch Claude or to stand closer to him. And before he knew what was really going on, he had fallen in love. 

In truth, he had not expected Claude to accept his feelings. In fact, he had not planned to confess his feelings at all but after witnessing many of the students speaking ill of Claude in front of his face, Dimitri had had enough and had stood up for Claude much to the archer’s surprise. 

_ “Pay no attention to them, your princliness. Let’s just enjoy our food.” Claude had said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes (those were common nowadays, Dimitri had noticed). _

_ He knew that would have been the easier thing to do. To let them run their mouths about Claude and spread false rumors — even more than there already was— but Dimitri had heard enough and though Claude insisted it didn’t bother him, Dimitri knew better. _

_ Dimitri’s fists tightened and he stood up from his seat, the wooden chair falling to the floor from the force and making a loud crash that attracted the attention of the entire dining hall.  _

_ “I’m sorry Claude but I cannot allow them to continue. This has been going on all day and I cannot stand by and watch it happen anymore.” _

_ Before Claude could stop the prince, Dimitri rushed off in the direction of the students who were speaking ill of Claude. Upon seeing Dimitri approaching them, they froze and at least had the brains to look ashamed during the stern talk Dimitri was dealing. And when Dimitri returned, red faced and barely holding back his anger, he apologized and picked his chair up from the floor. _

_ The dining hall was silent from Dimitri’s outburst but after a few moments of staring, they lost interest and went back to their own doings. _

_ Closing his eyes to control his rage, Dimitri reached for his glass of water and brought it to his lips. He glanced at Claude and saw those green eyes watching him with an expression of confused awe. _

_ “I’m sorry if I ruined lunch,” Dimitri tried for humor and was rewarded with a small chuckle. _

_ “It’s not ruined but,” Claude paused and looked away, trying to find the right words. When his eyes met Dimitri’s again, his voice was a whisper. “Thank you for standing up for me. You didn’t have to but I appreciate it.” _

_ Dimitri swallowed, he was sure his cheeks were a light shade of pink. They had to be because the look Claude was giving him made him feel warm and tingly inside and he cursed himself for wanting to lose himself in those eyes. _

_ “It was my pleasure.” _

They had retreated to Claude’s room after, both sitting on Claude’s large bed, and had somehow resulted in a painful conversation with Claude telling Dimitri that he didn’t mind what the students said about him because he was used to it and because he didn’t care, but Dimitri  _ did _ . Dimitri cared  _ so much  _ and thought it unfair and cruel, especially to someone as wonderful as Claude. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to take Claude in his arms and keep him safe from the cruel words of the other students. And then Dimitri had acted without thinking and promptly kissed Claude. 

At first, Claude showed no signs of kissing back and Dimitri panicked, pulling back and straightening his clothes. A spew of apologies for his improper actions spilled from his lips and then Claude had shut him up with another kiss, his hands resting on Dimitri’s thighs as Dimitri eagerly kissed back. 

And thus began their secret relationship.

Dimitri longed most of all for an end to the sneaking and the hiding, longed to be able to sleep carefree in Claude's arms and wake up next to him, to spend long and leisurely mornings in bed without having to worry about being discovered by students or teachers. He sighed, regret hanging heavy over him, darkening his residual elation to weary acceptance. Suddenly he realised how tired he truly was. He never seemed to notice when he was spending time with Claude, but he felt heavy and his eyelids drooped as he toed off his boots and removed his clothing until he was left in his undergarments.

Claude was seated at his desk, slaving over yet another book that had caught his interest. Dimitri guessed it was a book of spells or potions; those had been Claude’s focus lately. He approaches his lover and placed a hand over the book, halting his lover in his reading and effectively getting his attention.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Claude said, a slow smile lifting his mouth. There was exhaustion in those green eyes but there was also a look of tender love that always left Dimitri breathless.

Dimitri leans forward to place a kiss on Claude’s lips. “It’s time to rest now.”

He was surprised when Claude made no objections and allowed Dimitri to strip him of his clothing until he was left in nothing but his undergarments as well. Dimitri blew out the candles and led his sleepy lover into the bed and climbed in behind him, opening his arm so that Claude could squish himself against his chest. 

There was a moment of Claude rearranging himself and Dimitri that ended with Claude settled on top of Dimitri’s chest.

“Comfortable?” Dimitri asks, crossing his arms over Claude’s back to hold him steady. This position was always the most comfortable to Dimitri, having Claude resting on top of him helped him to rest easier and stir less. 

Claude deeply exhales and Dimitri knows that means ‘I’m very comfortable.’ 

They lay in silence, Dimitri listening to the sound of Claude’s breathing evening out until he was fast asleep. Only then did Dimitri allow himself to fall asleep, content with his lover in his arms. He pushed aside the thought that in the morning, they would have to once again pretend they were just friends.

➵

Dimitri opened his eyes, blinking as he tried to bring the image in front of him into focus and he found it was more difficult. Claude sat in front of him, legs crossed, head slightly tilted to one side. Silvery moonlight poured over him, enhancing his beauty. His tanned skin and slightly windblown hair had taken on a luminescent glow. Serenity and kindness had returned to his ever watchful gaze.

_ Yes _ , thought Dimitri, painfully and contentedly - this was how he wanted to remember Claude- his head tilted just so, his lips caught in that singular smile - beautiful and infinitely kind.

"This is a good dream, Dima."

Dimitri smiled. The gesture relaxed for the first time in all their conversations. This was the first time he uttered that nickname in a long time.  _ Maybe  _ Dimitri thought,  _ maybe I am mad to keep doing this to myself. To keep seeing him over and over again. But I would not have it any other way. _

"Us being together is a dream only fools believe, my beloved" Dimitri replied, sighing softly. Familiar bitterness had worked its way into his voice again. And the stabbing pain of grief returned as he watched his ethereal intruder smile.

Claude reached out and touched the other's cheek. And Dimitri remembered what it was like to be lost —when flames from the burning monastery set the night skies ablaze, when the screams the people drowned out his desperate plea to  _ find him _ , and when dark gloom had throttled his very will.

And then, he remembered what it was like to be found —when bliss danced in his lover's eyes as he lost himself during their nights of passion or when he watched Claude’s eyes shining with pride as he detailed a victory.

Dimitri felt Claude’s careful fingers lift his chin and gazed directly into the other's eyes and saw inside them both kindness and exhaustion. Strange, his visitors felt awfully real. He could  _ feel the heat _ coming from those tan hands. It felt nice.

Leaning over, Claude whispered, "It is a beautiful dream. Now rest, I’ll watch over you."

Dimitri smiled, fighting back tears of regret, of helplessness, of acceptance and fell back into a merciful sleep. The last thing he had seen was an array of red and orange hues that looked suspiciously like a fire. Funny, he couldn't remember starting a fire.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boi another chapter

“Dimitri,” Claude pleads, running his good hand through his hair as Dimitri continues to ignore him, instead choosing to look over whatever document is in front of him. “Dima, I’m sorry.” He receives no response and begins to make his way off of Dimitri’s bed, wincing when the movement puts pressure on his aching ribs and he has to close his eyes to keep the pain at bay. He manages to get to his feet only to nearly lose his balance when Dimitri is suddenly in front of him. His lover’s beautiful, furious face now glaring at him. 

“You are a fool,” Dimitri growls and carefully lifts Claude back onto the bed. Claude grabs onto Dimitri’s wrist, refusing to let it go even when Dimitri tries to pull it back to check on his injuries.

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” 

The wrong response. 

Dimitri’s glare deepens and his fists curl in a tight ball. “You could have  _ died _ , Claude.” It comes out as a hiss and Claude can’t help but flinch and even though Dimitri is obviously distressed by this, he cannot find it in himself to regret what he did. “I had to watch as you rode off into danger without telling anyone what you were planning. And yes, you saved people but normally your actions are calculated and careful not reckless and  _ idiotic _ .”

“I knew what I was doing,” Claude insisted, looking to try and soothe his distressed lover.

“But Claude...” Dimitri anger is fading now and his shoulders are slumping, exhaustion beginning to catch up.

“Dima…”

Dimitri exhales, deep and pained. He sounds and looks so tired. It breaks Claude’s heart to know he had a play in it. Dimitri leans forward, being mindful of Claude’s injuries, and rests his head against Claude’s shoulder. His hands move to circle around Claude’s waist.

“I just found you,” he whispers against Claude’s shoulder and it sounds so much like some dark secret Dimitri is sharing. Like it is physically hurting him to say it out loud. “And… I cannot lose you. I do not think I could come back from it.”

For a long moment, it is silent, Claude taking in what Dimitri had just said and the weight behind it. Dimitri is trembling slightly whether it is due to exhaustion or sorrow, Claude cannot tell but he is at a loss for words. The most he can do at the moment is lift his good hand to run through Dimitri’s hair in what he hopes is comfort.

“Next time, please, at least warn me.” Dimitri presses a kiss to Claude’s neck. “Warn me so that I could offer some sort of help. So that you do not have to go into danger… alone.”

The thought of Dimitri riding into danger unsettles Claude but he would be lying if the thought of Dimitri riding into danger  _ beside  _ Claude didn’t make him feel a little better. At least they could defend each other if the need arises. 

“Okay, Dima.” Claude breathes and cradles Dimitri closer as best as he can. “I promise.”

➵

The first thing Dimitri felt when he woke was pain. He wasn't sure exactly how long he was out but it must've been some time because the moon was already high up in the sky. The next thing he felt was something soft below his head, it was warm and smelled different. It was a pleasant different, smelling of the forest, spices, and something else that smelled lovely. His head turned when he heard the crackle of fire. His eyes narrowed dangerously when he spotted someone sitting beside a fire, still as a statue.

His hand reached out to search for his weapon but it came back empty handed. His armor had been removed as had most of his clothes. A thick blanket covered his body, hiding his body from the cold.

The stranger hadn’t moved from where he sat and Dimitri tried to get to his feet but found himself unable to. He felt heavy and worn out, wanting nothing more than to fall back asleep, but he had been asleep for far too long as it was.

“Who are you?” The words came out harsh but the stranger didn’t seem to hear him. “Who are you?” Dimitri tried again, louder and more bitter. He spotted his lance against the wall of the… cave. They were in a cave sheltered from the harsh winds.

The stranger still did not move and Dimitri managed to sit up, barely managing to keep himself from groaning in pain.

The stranger stoked the fire a stick but did not react to Dimitri’s actions.

Having been in a daze and too blinded by his own pain, it was some time before Dimitri noticed, in the light of the fire that the stranger had indeed kindled, the state that the male was in. His hair was a mess but he could tell it was slicked back. He wore a black cape that covered most of his clothing but whatever clothing was showing had come pitifully undone and was disheveled. Dimitri couldn’t see his face from this angle but he could make out tanned skin and a face drawn with fatigue and... grief?

“So,” the stranger finally spoke, making Dimitri jump because… that voice. “You’re finally awake.” Achingly familiar green eyes turned to him with a smile that did not reach those splendid eyes.

And Dimitri died. 

He died because there was no way someone who felt this amount of pain and anguish and relief all at once could still survive. He died because the man he longed to see again was finally here in front of him, the man he thought dead for  _ years _ was here so he himself must have died.

_ Claude. _

Dimitri could only stare at the man he loved, now getting up to walk towards him, shedding his own cape and settling it around Dimitri.

“I just saved you from frostbite. Don’t make all my efforts be for naught.”

Dimitri allowed Claude to fuss over him, choosing to observe the man in front of him. Claude had changed; he was broader but looked to be a similar height since last he saw him. He had facial hair, a chinstrap beard that (Dimitri had to admit) suited him well and longer hair that was slick back. His braid was gone. Oh, but his eyes were what struck him as the most different. In those eyes spoke volumes of pain and grief. Gone was the cheerful light that was always present in those eyes as students, what lay in front of him was a crumpled faded copy of those eyes.

Dimitri swallowed and hesitantly brought his hand up to Claude’s cheek. He knew his hands were probably cold but Claude’s cheek was so much colder and Dimitri couldn’t help the spike of concern from crawling into his voice.

“You’re cold.” 

A statement that Claude did not deny, only leaned into Dimitri’s hand, his eyes closed as he let out a small sigh. And Dimitri pulled his hand back as if he had been burned, looking away from the hurt look now marring Claude’s handsome face.

“You’re cold,” Dimitri stated once again, sounding more confused than concerned.

Claude stood up without a word and walked back to the fire, sitting back down in his spot and trying to make himself as small as possible.

Nothing was said for some time. Silence stretched between them but Dimitri watched Claude closely, noting the way Claude’s shoulders slumped and he wondered how long it had been since Claude had slept.

After some time, Dimitri noted that Claude's eyes were shining. He looked away, and cursed himself. Despite himself being the injured one, Claude also needed help, only a different kind. It felt as though every bone in his body ached; his mind throbbed from shock and grief at what had happened. But he knew he had to do something to reassure Claude. 

It had been so long since they had seen each other.

“Forgive me, Claude."

Claude peeked over then looked back at the fire, tossing the stick he used to stoke the fire with inside the flames. “It’s alright. We haven’t seen each other in years, I should have expected that reaction.”

Something about his words unsettled Dimitri but he chose not to voice his concerns, only made an effort to stand up. It took a few tries but when the blankets fell from his body, he realized he was only in his undergarments. The chill of the cave hit him like a bucket of cold water and he couldn’t stop himself from shivering. 

A loud curse came from Claude’s direction and then he was being covered by Claude’s cape once more.

“Dammit Dimitri!” Claude cursed, leading Dimitri towards the fire to sit down before rushing back to grab the blanket Dimitri had let fall to the floor. He wrapped it around Dimitri and adjusted the thick cloth until he was satisfied with it. “I saved you once, I don’t want to do it again.”

“Forgive me, Claude." Dimitri said again because he didn’t know what else to say. Because he felt so numb but for once he wanted to  _ feel  _ something.

“You said that already.”

“Forgive me, Claude."

“Dimitri…”

“ _ Forgive me, Claude." _

Claude dropped to his knees beside Dimitri, his hand gripping the blanket firmly and he bowed his head, hiding the pained look in his eyes from the man he had missed so much. 

Now they had found each other, now it was all over. They had succeeded and failed, they had won and lost because the other was not the same. Nothing would ever be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor babies


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sex scene at the end so be careful if you don't want to read that
> 
> No beta as always (I hope I don't embarrass myself too bad)

On one such evening while Dimitri was in his room studying for an upcoming exam, Claude wandered in and without so much as a greeting, grabbed Dimitri by the sleeve.

“Claude? Is everything alright? Dimitri asked, because it was out of character for Claude to wander in his room and wordlessly drag Dimitri out by the sleeve. Dimitri still had the book he was reading in his hand and used it to close his door behind them.

“Everything is just fine,” Claude said, tugging Dimitri to his own room. It looked like that was all Claude would say for now.

When they got to Claude’s room, Dimitri allowed himself to be dragged inside where Claude finally let go of his sleeve and began to undress. He left his inner shirt on and climbed into his enormous bed, moving towards the wall then patting the empty side while looking expectantly at Dimitri.

Dimitri, because he knew Claude’s antics already, quickly undressed and climbed into bed beside Claude, bringing his book with him.

Claude didn’t hesitate to hesitate to crawl after him, curling beside Dimitri’s bulk and murmuring a soft ‘thank you’ into his chest. 

Dimitri smiled and placed his hand on Claude’s back, rubbing soothing circles until Claude was beginning to fall asleep. He found it adorable that Claude had developed a habit of seeking him out when he couldn’t stand the cold. Dimitri was happy to lend his body heat to his beloved. 

“Dima?” came Claude’s sleepy voice. 

Dimitri hums in response, focused on reading a paragraph in his book but also listening to Claude.

“This has been bugging me all day but... “ Claude trails off and its enough to have Dimitri put his book down and move to lay beside Claude, wondering what ails his lover. “When we go our separate ways will you— “

And Dimitri stops him mid sentence because  _ where did this come from?  _

“Claude, what do you mean separate ways?”

Claude smiles, sad and vulnerable but he speaks like it is the most obvious thing. “Well you’re going to be king, aren’t you? You can’t take someone like me with you. The royal court would never approve. And perhaps your people.”

“As king I may take whomever I please as my lover. Unless you are saying you… no longer wish to continue our relationship?” The thought of Claude wanting to break off their relationship sent his heart racing with anxiety and grief.

Claude sat up, staring at Dimitri as if he had offended him. “No! That’s not— I don’t want to end our relationship. If I could have it my way, I would never leave your side.”

“Then do not.”

Claude falters at the statement, staring at Dimitri. And Dimitri brings Claude back down, cupping his cheek lovingly.

“Do not leave my side.”

And Claude smiles, placing his hand over Dimitri’s. 

“I won’t.”

Dimitri didn’t pick the book back up, choosing to keep his lover in his arms until the sun came up.

➵

From his seat in front of the fire, Dimitri watches as Claude remains still as stone against his leg. He hasn’t moved from his spot for a long time and Dimitri suspects he doesn’t want to.

He watches.

He does this out of sheer spite because he feels it can fill the bitter place of his heart that has quickly taken over. The cold darkness of the cave is something that he welcomes as he watches Claude’s hands tighten every now and then.

Finally, Claude’s fingers clutch at Dimitri’s thighs as he lifts himself up. Dimitri does not blink, not as he weaves a hand through his hair with a soft sigh. Not as he picks up some sticks and turns around to toss it in the fire. Claude does not frown nor does he look back at Dimitri. His expression is blank and even Dimitri, who has known him intimately enough to know how to read the signs that tell what he really feels, cannot read him.

Dimitri watches some more until Claude sits back down with his knees up, resting his arms on them, and stares in the direction of the fire, his eyes lowered.

If he is aware of Dimitri's staring, he does not give any clue that he acknowledges him. He could very well be done with him or is simply gathering his thoughts. Past Claude would welcome comfort from past Dimitri but they are both very different now and present Dimitri does not know how to comfort anymore.

And so, Dimitri watches, draped in the light of the fire, and when Claude finally turns in Dimitri’s general direction, the fire dimmed considerably, he doesn't look  _ at  _ him and Dimitri thinks he will walk over.

But he does not.

He reaches for more sticks and tosses it in the dying fire.

His silence frustrates Dimitri and he hates that indifferent gleam in his eye.

“How did you find me?” Dimitri asks, not daring to take his eyes off of Claude.

And because Claude is Claude, he smiles but his eyes remain on the fire. “So you finally speak?’

“How did you find me?” Dimitri repeats, voice even and balanced.

Claude finally looks at him, the smile still there but a little forced, a little sad. “I heard rumors about a man that was going around wanting— demanding— information about Edelgard. That this man has killed for it but he has yet to be identified. I wasn’t sure if it was you in the beginning, this was more of a leap of faith.”

At the mention of Edelgard, Dimitri’s eyes hardened with rage. “Do you know where she is?” 

Claude pauses. “No.” 

Dimitri snarls and turns away from Claude with a flourish of the blanket and cape around his shoulders. “Then _do not_ speak of her.”

Dimitri can feel Claude watching him. He knows if he turns around he will find Claude’s calculating eyes but there is another part of him — a part he would rather ignore— that is telling him that Claude is looking on him with pity. He doesn’t want that. Not from Claude. Not from anyone. He already feels his anger getting the best of him, he doesn’t want to lash out on Claude. Not after they had just found each other.

So he waits for Claude to do something.

“I guess the rumors are true,” Claude says, quiet and sad. 

“Which rumors do you speak of now?”

There’s no reply, not immediately. There is a silence between them that lasts long enough to make Dimitri think Claude has left him behind. But Claude speaks.

“You’ve changed, Dimitri.”

Dimitri can’t stop himself from scoffing. That much is obvious.

“As have you.”

And suddenly, Claude is in front of him with eyes that are so much dimmer than before. Dimitri takes a step back, eager to put distance between them but Claude takes a step forward.

There was a mounting anger in Dimitri as he saw how hollow Claude’s eyes had become. The light was gone and Dimitri knew somehow he had a play in it. How dare Claude care for him when Dimitri spent nearly five years hating him for leaving him alone. How dare he vanish for nearly five years after he had told him they would not be parted. How dare...

Claude reached out tentatively, almost fearfully, and cupped Dimitri's cheek. Dimitri shrugged off the concerned touch, breathing raggedly.

“They say many have fallen prey to a killer’s bloodlust. I’ve heard people call you feral, cruel, heartless.” Claude spoke again and approached Dimitri cautiously, standing in his personal space. “You’ve changed.”

And something in Dimitri snaps. 

Dimitri grabs a hold of Claude’s clothes and pressed him against the cave wall. Claude groans when his head hits the wall but makes no move to escape Dimitri’s hold. The grip on Claude’s clothes tighten to the point where Claude can hear it beginning to tear. 

Dimitri’s ragged breathing accelerated as he glares straight into Claude’s eyes, trying to calm the tremors that racked his body. He snarls and violently captures Claude’s lips, sinking his hands into the other's hair, breathing in the scent of spices, the woodlands and something that is undoubtedly  _ Claude _ .

Claude puts up no fight and melts into the harsh kiss as best as he can but Dimitri’s lips are biting his and then his tongue is exploring. 

A long trickle of saliva spills down Claude’s lips as they broke apart, panting, gasping for breath; their eyes clinging to each other. The flames of desire falling over the two in a whirlwind of lust and passionate surrender.

Dimitri lets the cape and blanket fall from his shoulders and ran his hands over Claude’s body, pressing closer and tearing a delicious moan from Claude. The sound unhinged something in Dimitri— Something primal— and it seemed to affect Claude too. His green eyes dark with desire, eager to take anything Dimitri would give him. 

There was no gentleness when Dimitri tore Claude’s clothes from his body and removed his own remaining clothes. There was no tenderness when Claude’s fingers raked into Dimitri’s back, trying to bring him closer. They touched each other fervently, possessively; teeth grazing every patch of skin it could encounter.

Dimitri utters no apology when he uses spit to lube his fingers as he stretches Claude. The archer gasps and squirms in discomfort as the rocks dig into his back and Dimitri has just enough sense to place them on the makeshift bed he had been laying on. His fingers plunge back into Claude and Claude arches his back as a second finger follows and then a third. Claude’s eyes are shut tight as Dimitri curls his fingers and brush against that sweet spot and Dimitri leans down to bite Claude’s neck, licking and sucking a deep mark and then moving to the other side to place another.

When he leans back to watch the man below him fall apart, he groans at the sight; Claude is watching him with tears in his eyes, drool dribbling down his lips, and sweat clinging to his tan skin.

Dimitri drinks in the sight like he is parched.

He removes his fingers and uses his spit to coat his throbbing cock then lines himself up with Claude’s waiting entrance. He lets out a choked groan as he plunges into gripping velvet heat. Claude’s head arched backwards, legs wrapping around Dimitri’s waist, hands gripping the other's blonde hair as he was furiously taken. Agony and ecstasy tangled gloriously with each other until both broke in violent climax; screaming each other's names.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And thank you to those who left a comment! It makes my day reading them :3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha  
We back at it again with that angst

Dimtri’s ears are tuned to Claude’s voice. He could pick him out in a sea of hundreds which is why he was able to hear Claude’s voice from afar. His blue eyes sought his lover through a crowd of red, blue, and yellow and when he did not spot his desired person, he excused himself from the people he had been socializing with near the greenhouse and made his way around a tree to avoid a crowd of students.

He made his way towards the direction he heard the voice and spotted his lover crouching in front of a dog that was nudging at his hand.

Dimitri watches as Claude gives the dog a few scratches behind the ear.

“You hungry, little guy?” Claude spoke softly but loud enough that Dimitri could hear him.

Dimitri knew Claude was never one to be greedy with his food so it’s no surprise when Claude reaches in his pocket, pulls out a napkin that has some food wrapped inside, and gives it to the dog.

Dimitri smiles, the sight warmed his heart and he approaches his lover, making his presence known. 

Claude spots him quickly and turns back to the pet the dog’s head. “Make sure you take care of yourself,” Claude says to the dog who looks up at him with its tongue slightly stuck out and its tail wagging happily. Claude smiles before turning to Dimitri. “Hello, your princliness.” The archer’s smile is as radiant as ever.

“Hello Claude,” Dimitri greets back with a smile of his own. 

“To what do I owe the honor of your presence?” Claude gives an exaggerated bow and follows up with a flirtatious wink that leaves Dimitri blushing.

“I uh… I just heard your voice.” That is all Dimitri can conjure up for the reason of his presence. He felt it weird (and a little embarrassing) to tell Claude that he had heard his voice from afar and was drawn to it.

Claude looks delighted at this. “Well I’m glad you like my voice that much that you would willingly seek me out.”

“I would have sought you out despite not hearing your voice.” 

Claude hums, all smiles and sunshine. “You certainly know how to make someone feel loved.” There’s a teasing hint to his voice but Dimitri can also hear the sincerity behind it and he wants desperately to reach out and take Claude’s hand. He wants desperately to be able to show affection to his lover without the watchful eyes of the monastery. He settles for standing close to him and motioning for Claude to follow.

And as they walk in the direction of the dormitories, Dimitri speaks up once more, only for Claude’s ears:

“Your voice could get me through the darkest days.”

He glances over in time to see a light blush spread across Claude’s cheeks. He smiles and thinks about the many ways he can make that blush blossom further.

➵

The sweat on Dimitri’s forehead has pulled his hair into loose curls which stick to his skin like loops of gold. Claude watches him as he sleeps, unable to find rest after their rough coupling. His lower body aches and he can feel the sting of scratches and bruises whenever he attempts to move. Dimitri had been rough with him but he had taken it all for reasons even he did not know. Dark passion had sunk its claws into him and dragged him down to the abyss alongside Dimitri.

But now he’s alone. Alone with his mixed feelings: love, hate, despair, and confusion. Alone with his thoughts of past days. Days of blood and anger and awful, awful regret. Days of— 

Dimitri stirs, and Claude is glad of the interruption to his dark thoughts; he knows he would have ventured far too deep. But Dimitri does not wake, and as Claude sees pain spread across his features (and though time had not treated him well, Claude still thinks Dimitri is as handsome as ever) he wishes instead for the silence and the terrible memories. For this feeling —this feeling is not something Claude has had in so long. The want to comfort someone. So long has he spent around people who did not want him around, so long has he spent around enemies, hiding his identity to gain followers for the alliance. So long has he spent around those who have lost so much but he could not comfort them for there was no time and it would do little to help.

His thoughts stray to the deaths he had caused as Dimitri mumbles something which Claude barely catches, and he thinks he could cry but he has no tears left to shed.

"Claude...  _ no...  _ "

The words trail away into a muffled groan and half of a sob, and Claude is at a loss. Because just like when Claude first found him, Dimitri had been calling out for him (although delirious). Dimitri still cared about him to an extent but Claude didn’t want to dwell on this thought for much longer; Dimitri could very well hate him and Claude thinks he would not blame him. 

Still...

"Dimitri—" he is cut off by a cry, quiet yet raw and brimming over with anguish; the words freeze in his throat and instinctively he reaches out to pull his lover (is he even worthy of that title anymore?) into his arms.

Mistake.

Dimitri cries out again, and lashes out against whatever form Claude has taken in his dream — Claude barely escapes a blow to his face, and in the struggle a desperate ‘ _ Dimitri’  _ slips past his own lips which falls heavy between them. Silence and tense stillness follows —and then Dimitri  _ whimpers  _ , and Claude’s eyes cloud with so much  _ regret. _

"Dimitri..." Claude’s voice cracks and breaks, and he is thankful that Dimitri is not awake to hear it. He draws in a deep, shuddering breath as he attempts to steady himself once more. "Dimitri, I’m here..."

Predictably, Dimitri does not respond; save that his breathing grows more ragged, his hand clenched in a white fist around the blanket. The torn silence of the cave weighs heavily on Claude, the walls seeming to press in about him as the loneliness of their reality hits him once again. He bows his head, weighing his options as a tear tracks down Dimitri’s cheek from his one good eye (and Claude makes a note to ask Dimitri about it but thinks that when Dimitri wakes, he will most likely leave him). A sound of pain slips from Dimitri's parted lips, and for a few moments Claude slips into the cold darkness which waits in the back of his mind —the darkness which will easily swallow him whole if he does not withdraw from it quick enough. And he does, again, as always, because he needs to, and reality is coarse and harsh against the skin of his mind. But he has made his decision. 

He crawls back under the blankets and so very carefully lays on Dimitri’s chest. He closes his eyes, hoping Dimitri won’t wake up and attack him for daring something so bold. But Dimitri only exhales, long and low, and then Claude is whispering to him because it seems to be working.

“I’m here Dima,” Claude whispers against his chest, eyes tracing over a scar on his pale shoulder. He tells himself he is doing this to keep Dimitri warm, that he is doing this because Dimitri needs rest and Dimitri always sleeps best when he has a weight on his chest.

“I’m here,” Claude murmurs and Dimitri’s breathing evens out, slowly but gradually. “I’m here.”

The fire has long since died out and Claude will have to get up and start it again to keep the cold away but for now, he stays. Because Dimitri needs him. Because he hasn’t been there for Dimitri like he said he would. Because Dimitri…

“I’m sorry I took so long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey made myself cry while writing Claude's part LOLZ  
that's a big reee


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the small wait. I got a little distracted writing something else for another fandom cuz I saw some fanart on a pairing from that fandom 💀 It be like that

When Dimitri woke up, Claude was not beside him. A flare of panic rose in his throat before he quickly crushed it down, thinking that Claude was most likely still here otherwise why would he had gone through so much trouble finding him? 

With unsteady arms, he lifted himself into a seating position, feeling considerably better than he did yesterday. His earlier suspicions of Claude’s whereabouts turned out to be correct when he spotted the archer, fully dressed, putting the fire out.

Dimitri glanced at the entrance of the cave and saw it was morning. Which meant it was time to have a small talk about Claude’s true intentions for finding him.

“Good morning.” Claude’s voice was surprisingly light and Dimitri suspected Claude was hiding what he truly felt behind an act. It didn’t surprise Dimitri but then again Claude was always one to hide behind a facade.

Dimitri didn’t answer, saw no reason to, and instead searched for where his clothes had been thrown. He found them folded neatly a few feet away next to his weapons, Claude’s doing perhaps since Dimitri remembered tossing his clothes around carelessly while trying to lose himself in Claude’s body. He removed the blanket from his naked body and walked, unashamedly, to dress back into his clothes and armor. He could feel Claude’s eyes on him the entire time and told himself he did not care.

“After we eat, we can start making the journey back. Sound good?” Once again, Claude’s tone is lighter than he expected but Dimitri has no interest in staying any longer nor does he have any plans to follow Claude to wherever it may be.

Claude signals him to sit beside him, already beginning to unfold a napkin that contains jerky, bread, and cheese. It’s not much but it is more than Dimitri has eaten in days.

“I am not hungry,” Dimitri says. “You may eat but I am not staying any longer.”

He turns around, making to exit the cave but Claude calls his name and he halts, waiting for the other to speak.

“You can’t turn down free food!” Claude exclaims. “At least have some of the cheese, I know you love it. I remember you would snatch the cheese from my plate, not that I minded. It was nice seeing you enjoy something as simple as cheese.”

There are few things nowadays that leave Dimitri flustered and he has managed to avoid most of them but of course, Claude has always (and will always it seems) be the exception. The memory brings a light dust of pink to Dimitri’s cheeks and he is glad that he is facing away from Claude.

He doesn’t know why he stands in his spot for as long as he does. He doesn’t know why he even has to think about staying and eating with Claude because the obvious thing to do is to walk away. And yet he turns and takes a seat beside Claude.

Claude moves the napkin so that it is in the middle and begins to pick off some of the bread. Dimitri goes for the cheese. He hasn’t had it in so long, he closes his eyes as he enjoys the taste. And when he opens his eyes to reach for another block of cheese, he spots Claude watching him with a strange look in his eyes.

“What are you staring at?” It sounds a lot harsher than he intended but he knows Claude will not say anything on it.

“I was just admiring the view,” Claude winks and it is obvious this isn’t what he was doing but Dimitri doesn’t say anything on it, only halts his hand. Dimitri notices that this Claude is so much more different than last nights Claude. “I’m sorry if the cheese is a little hard. I’ve been traveling for some time.”

Dimitri looks back down at the food offered to him. There really isn’t much and if what Claude is saying is true then he may not have enough food for the trip back. With this in mind, he pulls his hand back, abandoning the food and chooses to watch Claude instead.

Claude munches on that same piece of bread, taking his time to finish it, it seems. He’s also watching Dimitri and he raises a brow at him when he sees Dimitri has stopped eating.

“Is it really that bad?”

Dimitri shakes his head. “The food is fine.”

“If it’s fine then go ahead and eat. It’s a long journey back.” 

“I’m not going back with you, Claude. I already have—”

Claude waves his hand, taking another small bite from his bread. “Yeah yeah I heard you. You’ve set a mission for yourself and now you’re out for revenge.” Dimitri bristled at the mocking tone Claude now as if his motive was a joke had but he remained quiet and let Claude continue. “Dimitri listen, I’m not asking you to abandon your motive. I came all this way to find you so that you could come back with me and maybe fight alongside  _ with  _ me instead of against me. We have the same ultimate motive after all.”

Dimitri tensed. “You also wish for Edelgard’s death?”

“I didn’t say that,” Claude quickly said. “I said we have the same ultimate motive. In the end, I just want to see my dream become a reality.”

Dimitri’s brows knitted. “And what is your dream exactly?”

Claude finished his bread, leaning down to grab some of the jerky. Dimitri found himself watching Claude’s hand before looking back to his eyes, noticing a gleam of mischief in them.

“I can tell you on the way,” Claude says and Dimitir knows Claude is trying to convince him to follow him without actually asking him. 

“You cannot force me to follow you, Claude. You are no match against me.” It’s not that Claude is weak, Dimitri knows that Claude is skilled but now in this small area, Claude has the disadvantage and Dimitri is far stronger than him.

Claude looks unbothered by this. “I was never going to force you to come with me but I will say it would be appreciated. After all, I went through all that trouble. It would be nice to have some company.”

Dimitri entertains the idea of following Claude. After being alone for so long, he admits to himself that he would like company, but what company would Dimitri make? He has no stories to share with Claude— none that he would enjoy anyways. He didn’t even know where Claude was heading off to. 

“And besides,” Claude continues. “I know if I ask you to follow me, you’ll do it. Won’t you, highness?”

Dimitri ignores the old nickname and processed Claude’s words for a second. It was true. If Claude were to ask, he would follow him because Claude, after all these years, still has that power of him. But the archer hadn’t asked and that meant he was letting Dimitri choose.

“Where are you going?”

And Claude smiles, a smile that is sad almost like he is remembering something distant.

“Garreg Mach.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! This chapter is a little longer i think so that should make up? Yes? No? Maybe so?

“Excellent job!” Alois exclaimed proudly upon seeing the bandits that had been rounded up by the three house leaders. “This is the type of teamwork I want to see more of in the future!”

Dimitri is rather proud of himself and of his fellow house leaders, he gives Alois a radiant smile before hearing the sound of hooves approaching. He turns to the sound, knowing it to be Claude and watches his lover ride closer. His smile falters at the faraway look in his lovers eyes.

“Claude?” Dimitri offers a hand to help Claude down from his horse. It’s a slip up, Dimitri knows but Alois only gives them a confused stare before he walks away to check on the other soldiers.

Claude snaps out of his trance and takes Dimitri’s hand, sliding off his horse with a tight smile.

“Minimal casualties and all of the bandits taken care of. Great work, your princeliness. Where’s the princess?”

“Edelgard has gone to check on the other soldiers,” Dimitri says, looking in the direction of where Edelgard had gone earlier before turning back to Claude. “Forgive me for saying this but you look.. Off.”

“Off? Me?” Claude laughs but Dimitri catches the sharp look in his eyes. He doesn’t want to say anything here, not while people are around.

Dimitri scrambles to let the soldiers around them know that they will catch up with them shortly and after they are all gone, Claude’s facade cracks only a little.

“Dima?” Claude whispers, now nervous and quiet.

Dimitri is beside him in seconds. “Yes?”

“Can you promise not to say anything about any of this to anyone?”

“What do you mean?”

And then Claude pulls back his golden cape that had been covering most of his torso but Dimitri had assumed it was because he was cold. On his clothes were patches of blood that stained the fabric. There was so much of it and Dimitri’s brain immediately ruled that Claude must be injured. There was no way he could have that much blood on him and not be injured.

Dimitri’s hands were searching Claude’s body with careful persistence, making sure not to press anything in case it caused him any pain but before he could complete his check, Claude grabbed his hands in his own and held them. They too were stained with blood, Dimitri noticed, and it did nothing to soothe the panic that gripped him.

“I’m fine but… I need your word.”

Dimitri stumbled over his tongue, unsure of why Claude wouldn’t just tell him what happened but Claude’s eyes were beseeching him for an answer, so Dimitri nods.

“Thank you,” Claude breathes. “I just… need a day to myself. Please?”

Dimitri found it harder to agree to that, but he could never deny Claude anything.

Once they had returned to Garreg Mach, Edelgard had demanded an explanation for whose blood was on Claude’s shirt but neither said anything. Dimitri had remained quiet not because he didn't want to say it but he couldn't. Claude had asked him not to say a word.

Regardless, Edelgard rushed the two inside her room and fussed over them for hours. She once again demanded to know whose blood was on Claude’s clothes, why he was not speaking or making eye contact. But they had not said a word. So Edelgard decided she would wait for them to speak.

She didn’t stop Claude when he left first but when he closed her door, she turned to Dimitri.

“Is he alright?”

Dimitri opened his mouth to speak but found he didn’t have an answer. Edelgard saw this and continued to clean the cuts and bruises Dimitri had sustained.

When Dimitri's wounds were clean and he was free to go, Hilda had told him that Claude had locked himself in his room. Dimitri passed by Claude’s room, wanting desperately to comfort his distressed lover but then remembering that Claude had asked to be left alone, at least for one day. And so he went to his room.

The next day, Claude did not come out at all and the two house leaders were worried. Edelgard tried to coax an answer from Dimitri once more, but to no avail. Dimitri had not gotten any sleep but Claude had said he needed a day alone and the day had been up.

Late at night, Dimitri went to Claude’s room and used the spare key he had been given by Claude long ago when they first started dating. He slipped in the dark room, some fruit in his pocket that he was going to give Claude because he didn't want him starving.

“Claude?” Dimitri called out and searched the dark room for his lover.

Claude stood by his window, motionless and looking tired. The moonlight was the only light in the room and gave off a depressed kind of feeling. He received no reply.

"I brought you some fruit. I know you probably do not feel like eating but I was hoping..." he trailed off in passing while going to light some candles. He knew Claude was hungry as he had not eaten since yesterday which would make him somewhat nauseous, Dimitri’s brain supplied. Claude didn't take any notice when Dimitri put the fruit on his table.

“If you would like to talk about anything. I am listening.” But Claude just bowed his head and didn't answer. Dimitri frowned deeply and wandered away to put his cloak and boots away. He stripped off his outer tunic and folded it on the chair then walked over to Claude and, after a moment’s hesitation, slipped his arms around Claude’s waist.

Dimitri’s hadn’t the faintest clue of what happened to Claude during their expedition but whatever it was, had riled Claude up pretty bad. 

“Will you not speak to me?” Dimitri whispered to Claude’s neck, placing a gentle kiss there.

Claude sighed and settled his hands on Dimitri’s where they were circled around his waist. 

“Remember when you confined to me about Duscar?”

Dimitri tensed, unsure why Claude was bringing up such a dark memory for him.

“Yes.”

“I suppose I should share something of my own childhood in return. A dark past for a dark past.”

As curious as Dimitri was, he also did not want Claude to share anything he was not ready to share. He shouldn’t feel the need to have to share something just because Dimitri did.

“Claude, you do not— “

“It’s alright, Dimitri,” Claude gently interrupts. “I want to tell you.”

And so Dimitri listens as Claude tells him about his own past. He tells of the many assassination attempts on his life, of having to fight men bigger than him, of escaping them but not without injury. Of the paralyzing fear of just walking the streets, always expecting a fight. And then he tells about their earlier adventure and how the village had brought back vivid memories that led to the fear coming back tenfold and that it caused him to lash out his anger on the bandits. He confesses that some did not make it back alive. And when the story is done, Dimitri has found himself sitting against the wall with Claude in his arms, head buried in his chest.

And Dimitri thinks this is all unfair.

Despite his dark past, Claude was a gentle and caring person. He loved all life and truly believed that everyone could live as one someday. And yet even now, life was not treating Claude as it should. The blood was on his hands, the nightmares he would probably suffer... and likely already had.

_ Damnit all.  _

_ For a child to be in danger like that… _

_ Damnit all. _

Later, he coaxed Claude to come to bed. And when Dimitri wrapped his arms around his waist, Claude finally reacted with something other than numb grief, turning in his arms and guided him back into the mattress.

Dimitri ran his fingers over Claude’s torso, and with each touch he could feel his ribs and the muscles of his stomach. But Claude grabbed hold of him with hands that were strong and pressed his lips to Dimitri’s, and Dimitri felt his body loosen. He let himself be pinned and sank deeper into the kiss.

It was Claude who broke the kiss first and he straddled Dimitri’s thighs to pull his shirt off before leaning down to stare lovingly into Dimitri’s blue eyes.

"Help me to forget." Was all he said and Dimitri obliged.

➵

Claude could feel the snow in his boots, it was uncomfortable and so damn cold despite his thick socks. He glanced at his companion and immediately regretted it. Dimitri was staring at him with an odd curiosity that he would have questioned had it not been so cold. Instead, he looked back to the snow and trudged on slightly ahead.

“You’re cold,” Dimitri says, probably still staring at him.

Claude looks back and— yeah, still staring.

“You said that already. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about? We could swap lively stories about near death experiences?”

Dimitri looks unfazed and repeats his statement.

Claude sighs, his air creating puffs of white smoke in front of him. He eyes Dimitri’s heavy cape and smiles.

“How about you help me out then?”

And Dimitri’s brows furrow, his long legs moving to catch up with Claude. 

“What do you mean?” he says.

Claude reaches for the heavy cape and holds it open, ready to make his way inside if he is given permission.

“There’s enough room, right?”

Dimitri stares as if processing these words then he grabs his cape from Claude’s hands and trudges on. Claude frowns and struggles to keep up.

They continue on, occasionally stopping to catch their breath or snack on what little food they have left. Claude is still cold but walking beside Dimitri has provided some warmth so he can continue on with minimal complaining about the cold.

When night falls, Claude leaves Dimitri in charge of gathering wood while he goes to hunt for the night’s dinner. By the time he comes back with two rabbits in his hands, Dimitri has already started the fire. Claude notices he looks a lot angerier and wonders what happened while he was gone.

He drops the rabbits down and warms his hands by the fire, thanking Dimitri for starting it.

“You were cold.” is all Dimitri says and then he begins to skin the rabbits.

Claude is touched by the action and smiles to the flames, sad and broken. He misses these moments, when they would do things for each other just because. 

“The professor is alive?”

Claude perks up at Dimitri’s voice and sees that Dimitri has already skinned one rabbit and is now moving onto the next.

“Yeah,” Claude confirms. “He’s alive and kicking.”

“Where has he been all these years?” Claude had known Dimitri would ask this question, he had asked the same to Byleth, but he wasn’t sure how Dimitri would take the answer. He himself wasn’t sure how it was possible.

“Would you believe me if I said he was sleeping all these years?”

And judging by the look he gives Dimitri, no, he doesn’t believe him but it is the truth. He tells Dimitri this but he still looks skeptic. Instead of answering, he goes back to skinning the rabbit and Claude makes to start cooking the already skinned rabbit.

Claude doesn’t expect conversation and unfortunately, he is right. Dimitri is as silent as the night and yet his silence is also loud. There are so many unsaid things between them, so many apologies. So many regrets.

Claude doesn’t sleep that night, but then again neither does Dimitri.

And the days pass, slowly and silent.

Claude comments of some things as they walk but Dimitri never answers. He’s far too silent for Claude’s comfort. He hates it almost as much as he hates the look in Dimitri’s eyes when he sees the ghosts. He knows Dimitri is being haunted by the past ghosts. He had been when they were younger, he’s not surprised that they have only gotten worse. He’s not surprised but he is heartbroken.

Eventually, they come to a small village where they can pick up some much needed supplies and in an effort to keep their identities hidden, Claude tells Dimitri to stay outside of the village since he has no hood to shield his face. Dimitri reluctantly agrees and informs Claude that he will be waiting on the other side of the village.

Claude can feel Dimitri’s eye on him as he wanders in the village but he doesn’t turn to look.

Claude makes quick work as he picks up some fruit, water, and meat. He doesn’t stay for any chats nor does he speak any more than he needs to. He takes what he needs and begins to leave the village.

He was nearly out when he heard what sounded like a child crying for help. But it had sounded so distant and no one around had reacted to it, Claude thought he had imagined it.

But then he heard it again.

It was faint but he had heard it and he looked at the exit, conflicted between leaving whatever child had called for help and going back for them. He stayed put for a few moments before deciding that he couldn’t leave the child. Dimitri probably wouldn’t mind the wait anyways. So he had followed it, his hand going to the dagger in his pocket since he had left his bow with Dimitri to draw less attention to himself. He turned a corner and peeked behind a broken down home to see four men attacking a woman. The woman was crouched on the ground, begging for the men to leave her and her son be but the men laughed and grabbed the woman, tossing her between themselves.

Claude knew this wasn’t a smart move. He knew he shouldn’t have come but when he caught sight of the small boy crying for help with tears running down his face beside a pile of rubble, he had already made up his mind. 

Claude made to attack, moving to take them from behind so that he might knock them out, but a hand pulled his away and pinned him to a wall, covering his mouth with their hand.

"Think before you act, Claude. We are not supposed to be seen." Dimitri said quietly and slowly removed his hand from Claude’s mouth.

"That child’s mother is—"

"Yes, I know. I heard the cry for help as well." said Dimitri as he took out Claude’s bow from under his cloak. He handed it to Claude then tightened his grip on his lance.

"Are you planning on killing those men?" Claude asked, worried for a moment of what that may do to Dimitri.

Dimitri slowly shook his head. "No." He walked towards the corner and peeked at the scene. Then whispered seriously. "But I would like to."

"As long as we’re on the same page." Claude said firmly.

And then Claude spotted them wearing the symbol of the Adrestian Empire.

His heart dropped and he looked to Dimitri to defuse the ticking time bomb he knew Dimitri would become once he saw the symbol but before Claude could speak further, Dimitri had charged after them, lance at his side and murder in his eyes. Ah.. so he had seen the symbol as well then. Claude hurried after him, notching an arrow just in case.

Dimitri’s long legs brought him to the men in no time and he aimed his sword at the closest who was currently attacking the woman. The man heard the sound of heavy footsteps and looked coldly upon Dimitri. He had half a second to realize what was going on before Dimitri’s lance impaled his chest and he was lifted up. Dimitri growled low in his throat as he tossed the man off his lance and swung at the next.

Claude aimed his bow and shot at the other man who had abandoned the woman in favor of trying to sneak on Dimitri from the back, sword in hand. His arrow hit the man on the shoulder and Claude winced as Dimitri gave a loud cry and did a full turn, swinging his lance and beheading the man with a quick swing. The body hit the ground, arrow still in the shoulder.

Claude heard movement behind him and quickly turned around to see a small boy— the small boy who had called for help. The boy’s gaze met Claude’s and then looked at Dimitri.

“No no no,” Claude cooed, bending down to the boy’s level. “Don’t look over there. Look at me.” He signaled the boy to come closer and when the boy didn’t Claude put his bow down and tried again. This time the boy came running and buried himself in Claude’s arms, sobbing as snot ran down his pudgy nose. Claude embraced the boy, making sure he didn’t look back at Dimitri.

Upon remembering Dimitri, he panicked and turned back. The third man now crawling backwards on all fours looked terrified as he gazed upon Dimitri, covered in the two now dead men’s blood. The man turned to Claude and actually had a look of plea on his face, Claude felt bad. Sure, the guy was an asshole but did he deserve this fate?

“Dimitri stop!” Claude yelled out and for a second, Dimitri faltered. For a second, Dimitri glanced at Claude with confusion. But that second came and went when the man tried to run because now Dimitri wanted more blood. His eyes blazing with fury, he lifted his lance and threw it straight at the retreating man. The lance met its mark and the poor man was thrown from the force of the oncoming lance onto a cracked wall, his body held up by the lance.

Claude turned back to the kid, making sure he wasn’t looking and when he was sure he wouldn’t see, he lifted him in his arms, keeping his head on his shoulder to keep from peeking.

Claude said nothing to Dimitri as he walked past, going to the fallen mother who was staring at Dimitri with terror in her wide eyes.

“Ma’am,” Claude greeted and upon seeing her son, the mother’s eyes softened and tears sprung to her eyes. “He’s okay.”

Claude set the boy down, whispering it was okay to look but only at his mother. The boy peeked from behind chubby fingers and rushed to his mother.

“Thank you!” The mother cried and her hand went to grip Claude’s cloak. “Thank you so much!”

Claude allowed the woman to cling but he felt a presence behind him that caused him to look up. Dimitri was standing behind him, looking ashamed and guilty. He had tried to wipe the blood from his face but only succeeded in smudging it. Claude sighed and gently eased the woman’s hand from his cloak. He held her hand in his.

“Please take care of yourself and your son, ma’am.”

Claude winks at the little boy who smiles in return, though it’s wet and there is snot running down his nose. Claude finds it adorable.

He stands and walks to take the lance out of the impaled man and his bow from the ground, then back to Dimitri, checking to see if he was somehow injured before grabbing his hand to pull him away.

Dimitri looks at the mother and child the whole time he is dragged away by Claude and he offers a quiet ‘I’m sorry’ to them before they are out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out the story will start to get a lot sadder. Ehe... I apologize in advance for the angst  
but thanks for reading !!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm I can't write action. I tried???

They exited the village quickly and silently. Claude had yet to release Dimitri’s hand and Dimitri has yet to look up, trusting Claude to lead them out of the village. They ignore the stares people give them and the whispers about the people wondering what they were doing in this place with weapons. And when they are half a mile from the village, Claude stops them, sets the weapons down, and turns to his silent companion.

“Let me see,” Claude says quietly. If Dimitri does not want to meet his gaze then Claude will not force him but they have to clean the blood or it will draw attention to any other travelers.

Dimitri doesn’t move so Claude pulls out his cravat and pours some water over it. This stirs a reaction from Dimitri. The blonde reaches over to halt Claude from pouring any more over it.

“That isn’t necessary.”

Claude pulls his hand away and continues to wet the cravat. He signals Dimitri to come closer. Dimitri complies.

“It is actually. We can’t be seen walking around while your face is covered in someone else’s blood.” Claude is gentle as he wipes the blood from Dimitri’s face and when he is finished, he realizes Dimitri had been watching him the entire time. “That’s a little better,” Claude smiles.

“Thank you.” Dimitri eyes the cravat for a moment then his eye settles on Claude once again.

For a moment, Claude allowed himself to lose himself in Dimitri’s blue eye, still breathtaking despite the pain and sorrow laced in. He found himself wondering what happened to his other eye and then wanting to run a hand over the black patch. But he did not.

“About what happened back there,” Claude paused. “We need to talk about it.”

And Dimitri frowns, his eye flaring with some unreadable emotion. “No,” he said. “We do not.”

The blonde turned around, reaching to grab his lance. He began to wipe the blood from the blade.

Claude grit his teeth with frustration and choked emotions. “Dimitri.”

The blonde whirls around, eye burning with irritation. “What is there to speak of?”

Plenty, Claude thought. He sighed, his head spinning at the memory of Dimitri killing those men. “You killed them when you told me you wouldn’t.”

Dimitri’s eye hardens, hands balling into a fist. “I did,” he nods. “I killed those three men in front of an innocent child and his mother. I lost control over myself after seeing the Adrestian symbol.” Dimitri began to take a few steps forward, forcing Claude to take a few steps back. Fury and resentment vibrated through Dimitri’s entire being as he spoke and for a split second, Claude was afraid of what Dimitri would do. “I slaughtered them like _pigs, _and the worst part of it was that I had no remorse. They are not the first lives I have taken and they will not be the last.”

Claude could hear the anguish in Dimitri’s voice and it was echoed in his own heart. He did not want Dimitri falling into this pit of self loath and despair.

But then he remembered something. Something about what Dimitri had just said and he dropped his bloodied cravat.

“Three?” Claude questioned. “You said you killed three?”

Dimitri blinks, momentarily shocked by the sudden question. He nods slowly and Claude feels his heart seize.

“There were four men,” he explains quickly and begins to gather his weapon from the floor. He rushes past Dimitri but is stopped by a hand gripping his arm. Claude turns to the blonde with urgency in his eyes. “One of them is still in the village!”

Claude tries to break free of Dimitri’s hold but it is firm and there is no sign of him letting him loose.

“Dimitri,” Claude urges. “There could be more of them. The mother could be in danger and the child would be made an orphan if they do not kill him as well!”

There is a long silence between the two, the look in Dimitri’s eye was blazing fire and Dimitri bravely met his gaze. And then, moments later, Dimitri let go.

Claude rushes back to the village with Dimitri trailing behind, the bloodied cravat left behind in the dirt.

➵

When Claude opens the wooden door that leads to Dimitri’s room, cold air embraces him. It is not winter yet, but the days are already cold enough to send a chill down Claude’s and he envies (not for the first time) Dimitri’s ability to shake off the cold.

With a smile, he steps inside and closes the door silently behind him.

Dimitri’s unique scent tickles his nostrils and his gaze shifts from the rain stained window to the single candle lit on Dimitri’s desk. And sitting at that desk is Claude’s lover, hunched over with his entwined fingers resting under his chin.

He looks so deep in thought, he most likely has not even heard Claude coming in.

Claude clears his throat to announce his presence and almost immediately, Dimitri is put out of his trance.

“Claude,” he breathes and his smile is enough to warm Claude for a few moments, 

“You look busy,” Claude says, coming to lean on his chair. “Should I come back another time?”

“What? No!” Dimitri’s eyes widen and he stumbles out his chair, nearly tripping on one of the legs to get to his feet. Claude chuckles and when Dimitri holds his arms open, he falls into him. “I was just deep in thought.”

Well, that much is obvious Claude adds to himself as he shifts to look at Dimitri. The warmth Dimitri is providing is better than any blanket he could use. Claude tilts his head at Dimitri: "What were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking of ways to help the orphanages once I am king. I want them to have better housing and food. I want them to believe that there are people who truly care for them and will fight for them." Dimitri’s eyes sparkled and Claude basked in the light of Dimitri’s vision.

“Would you like to tell me about these ideas?” Claude is eager to hear his lover speak about his plans. Despite Dimitri constantly saying Claude would get bored of his chatter, Claude actually enjoys it and often agrees with Dimitri’s methods while also putting in his suggestions that Dimitri is very grateful of.

But it seems Dimitri is in a sharing mood this night. He nods eagerly and leads them to his bed where they sit against the wall talking of the many ways that they will help make children’s lives better and somewhere in between their conversation, Dimitri leans against Claude with a tired sigh.

“If there was a way to prevent children from becoming orphans, I would gladly jump at the chance.”

Claude wishes to ease Dimitri’s sorrow but he knows there is little he can say to help. There will always be bad times but there is also good. They just have to keep fighting to do their best.

Claude presses a kiss to Dimitri’s head and hopes it’s enough.

➵

By the time they arrive, it is already night. The village was just as they had left it, the people were still out and about as if there was no looming danger among them. It unnerved Claude and he wondered if these people were used to this kind of situation and had thought it better to turn a blind eye. The thought unsettled him but he could understand why they did it; they wanted to stay safe.

Despite this, the people still startled at the sight of them and their weapons, having realized there was more trouble, they began to leave the area as quickly as they could. 

A sudden noise halted Claude in his steps and he turned to Dimitri to see if he had heard it as well. The blonde nodded, his eye searching the area. They had heard the sound of metal clanking, people speaking loudly, and the drum of many footsteps.

As much as Claude knew they should leave, that this could very well mean bad news for them, he couldn’t leave the mother and child alone. His heart would not allow it. A look at Dimitri and Claude knew Dimitri felt the same.

Those men would not leave this fight alive.

They split up, both taking routes in between the buildings and even above if they could to reach the place where the noise was coming from. Claude keeps an eye on Dimitri, that large part of his heart telling him to stay close to Dimitri to protect him, keep him from collecting more trauma, but he has to keep that part of him down. He can’t let his emotions get the best of him, not while lives are on the line.

He climbs up a building and notches an arrow to his bow, peeking out from the roof at the sight below.

His eyes locked onto the sight of a dozen Imperial soldiers, some of them dragging the dead bodies into a large fire to burn while the others stood around, conversing about what Claude could only assume, was himself and Dimitri.

Claude’s eyes searched for Dimitri and found him peeking from behind a wall some feet away (too close for Claude’s comfort). With Dimitri in mind, he began to plan his attack.

Three men by the fire, another two a few feet away, three leaning against a house’s wall, one walking the perimeter, three of them in a corner. There were muffled wails coming from the corner and Claude’s heart ached knowing that it was probably the mother and child.

Claude studied them for a moment before he climbed down from his spot, being as quiet as possible. He slunk through the shadows and hide behind a wall where the one walking the perimeter would walk and waited.

He approached. 

Six feet. Five. Four. Three. Two— 

Claude darts out, fast and dangerous. Half a heartbeat later and Claude had one hand on the man’s shoulder, the other on his chin. The man struggled, barely got a sound out and then—

_ CRACK! _

Claude dragged the body in the shadows, stole the dagger from his pocket, slunk into the dark, and sought out Dimitri.

Dimitri’s eye followed the men, watching their every move like a predator, itching to attack. He barely registered Claude coming up next to him. Only when Claude placed his hand on Dimitri’s shoulder did Dimitri look at him, understanding dawning on him when he realized that Claude wanted this done silent and quick. 

That meant they needed a diversion.

Eleven men. 

Claude’s eyes scanned the area and pat Dimitri on the shoulder again, pointing upwards. Dimitri cupped his hands, hoisting Claude up to the roof then watching the archer make his way to the front, crouched down.

The three men by the fire chatted among themselves, looking grim and angry. One of them borderline hysterical and Claude’s mind supplied that that was most likely the man who had escaped.

Emerald eyes scanned the area once more, saw a loose board hanging from the house three of the men were leaning against. He smiled.

The dagger flew and knocked the wood from its place, the wooden board falling to the ground with more wood and stone following close behind. The three men yelped and hurried away, the other three by the fire running over to investigate. The woman wails louder and Claude finds that is in their favor.

The two men standing a few feet from the fire stayed put and with everyone's attention to the debris, Claude gave Dimitri a signal. Dimitri peeks from his corner, approaching the men with his lance close. 

Claude notches an arrow and lets it fly with wicked aim, the head embedding into one of the men’s hearts while the other meets his death by Dimitri’s lance. 

Nine men.

Dimitri rips his lance out and fades back into the shadows. The others turn, spot the deceased men and panic. The man from before hastily explains it was the same people and Claude notches another arrow.

One of the men yelled toward the men in the corner and they drag the woman forward, tossing her close to fire. Claude sees no sign of the boy.

The man yells for them to show themselves or they burn the woman alive. Claude holds his breath, quickly plots an attack. He hopes Dimitri will catch onto his attack quickly.

The man grabs the poor woman by the hair, dragging her to the fire and then—

Dimitri has already rushed out and Claude curses because of course Dimitri would rush out like that. So reckless.

Claude stands, shoots an arrow into the skull of one of the men.

Eight men.

He notches another arrow, aims and shoots. The arrow hits a man in the shoulder then another arrow follows and hits the arm of another.

Dimitri thrusts his lance, the blade barely missing the man who held the woman. The man throws the woman aside, unsheathing his sword and meets Dimitri head on. Three other men join him. Dimitri swings with a yell, his lance impaling a soldier then he throws the body to the ground.

_ Seven. _

Claude leaps on the edge of the roof, shoots another arrow that finds its mark in another man’s head. He leaps down.

_ Six. _

Three men approach Claude with swords unsheathed. Two of them injured from his earlier shot, the other a large bulky man.

A quick glance behind and he sees Dimitri surrounded by the two men—  _ Wait! _

Claude shoots an arrow at the now charging bulky man, the arrow embedding in his shoulder but the man keeps charging. Claude leaps, rolling to a stance and searching for the last man.

_ There. _

The last man— the one who survived— has the woman by the hair, sword aimed at her throat. He’s going to kill her! He can’t risk shooting an arrow, he may hit her. Dimitri is closest but he’s fighting for his own life.

Claude lets his guard down for a moment, panic gripping him.

“Dimi—”

A moment is all it takes.

Claude is tackled, his body landing awkwardly on his bow, snapping it and now digging into his chest. The large bulky man on top grabs his arms and  _ pulls.  _ A cry of pain rips from his lips as his arms are forced behind and then a big boot is on his back, pressing down with more and more pressure.

Claude realizes, unfortunately, that Dimitri had heard him. The blonde trembled with rage and gripped his lance with white knuckles.  He swings violently, nearly taking one of the men’s head off then swiftly spun out of the way in time to avoid being tackled by one of the men. Dimitri raised his weapon.

"We don't have time to play around!" The man who held the woman hostage said, getting everyone’s attention. "So be a good boy and put your weapon down"

Claude tried to breathe, the pressure from the boot making it very difficult. He hated when people did that. There was a nagging urge in him that wanted him to this man and his ugly beard some interesting choice of words but he pushed that back. Yelling at him wouldn't help anything (he didn’t think he could yell even if he wanted to at the moment).

The woman sobbed, trembling with fear and looking straight at Claude. 

The bearded man holds the knife closer to the woman’s neck. Dimitri bares his teeth, a snarl tearing from his lips that makes the two men around him take a step back.

“You are a feral man indeed,” the bearded man laughs and he turns to Claude, eyeing him distastefully. “And you, you look like a handful.” The man smirks and signals the bulky man to let Claude breathe a little. Claude takes in some air, tries to shift so that his broken bow isn’t digging into his chest. 

“You know,” Claude breathes out. “There’s always the option of letting you walk out alive in exchange for the woman.”

The man’s eyes widen with amusement. He looks at the woman then to Claude and drags her along with him as he approaches Claude. Tossing the woman to another man to hold, he leans down and traces Claude’s hairline with his blade, not quite breaking the skin but enough so Claude can feel it.

“Those are brave words for someone like you.”

Claude scoffs and meets his gaze. “And what kind of person am I?”

“The kind that I could easily get rid of with a simple press of my...” the man trails off, his blade running over Claude’s cheek. “Blade.” The blade is pushed down enough to draw blood. 

The action causes Dimitri to take some quick steps forward, eye only on Claude and the blood that is now running down his cheek. It is this that leaves him open. The man on his left swings his blade, the blade slicing into Dimitri’s leg. Dimitri dropped to one knee and turns to his attacker but jerks back as the other hits him with the butt of his blade.

Still, Dimitri blinks through the pain, his one thought a repeating  _ Save Claude Save Claude SaveClaudeSaveClaudeSaveClaude.  _ He struggles to his feet. So focused on getting to Claude, he doesn’t see one of the men notch an arrow.

But he felt the pain.

Dimitri was jerked back from the impact of the arrow as it embedded itself in his right shoulder. He faintly hears a loud yell of his name— he thinks it might be Claude— but now there is a mounting heat that has gathered in his shoulder, scorching and painful. His grip on his lance loosened but he did not let go. 

_ Claude. _

He’s numb as he swings, feels the lance hit something and he  _ pulls _ . The sound of skin ripped open rings in his ears before he feels more heat in his leg. It burns!

_ Claude. _

Dimitri looks up, the bearded man has his sword above Claude’s head, ready to deal the finishing blow.  It roused his anger, awakening something horrible in him, and he threw his lance straight at the man. He heard the satisfaction of a skull shattering beneath the blade of his lance— 

And suddenly, they were upon him.

Still recovering from the shock of the pain he couldn't dodge the tackle in time. He hit the ground with a thud and couldn't stop the cry of pain from escaping his lips when the person who tackled him accidentally brushed against the arrow.

His last thoughts were of Claude before the darkness pulled him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor Dimitri 😭


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a minute. Sorry about that 💀

The arrival of a new professor was exciting but Dimitri could think of one person who was just as eager as everyone else to greet this new professor. Perhaps a little too eager.

Predictably, Claude was in the Golden Deer classroom . From the looks of it, he was finishing some sort of pep talk to his fellow housemates and Dimitri, not wanting to disturb them, waited patiently by the door.

One by one the students exited the classroom, giving Dimitri quick greetings as they passed, until it was just Claude left in the room. Dimitri slipped in, closing the door behind him.

“I take it you are just as excited about the new teacher as I am?” Claude doesn’t jump at Dimitri’s voice, he stands up straight from where he was hunched over the table and closes whatever book he had been looking through.

“Well it’s been some time since we’ve had a new professor and I fully intend to get on this one’s good side.” 

Dimitri comes to stand beside Claude and peeks at the book he had been reading through. It isn’t anything that Dimitri should be worried about, just a simple spell book that Claude had been studying for the past few days but when he looks back at Claude, his brow furrows. He has that look. That scheming look.

“Claude.”

“Yes, your princeliness?”

Silence. Claude smiles innocently. He’s up to no good as usual.

Dimitri sighs. “Please tell me you don’t plan to poison the new professor.”

Claude looks affronted by the idea of that but Dimitri can see behind the act. 

“Hold on,” Claude holds up his hands. “didn’t I just say I was planning to get on the new professor’s good side? I can’t do that if I poison them now, will I?”

“True, but you could be planning to befriend him and convince him to try one of your… creations.”

At this, Claude laughs and holds his finger up to his lips in a shushing motion. Dimitri cannot help but smile back. He knows one way or another he is going to end up helping Claude with his odd experiments even if he doesn't quite see the reason of why he does it.

➵

Dimitri could sense something was wrong, it was what woke him to a world of numbing pain.

He tried sitting up but the bounds on his hands and feet halted him. He focused on breathing and took in his surroundings instead: He was in a broken down building that was once a home (he could tell by the broken furniture scattered on the floor and what looked like a pile of torn up clothes shoved into a corner). His lance and armor was gone and his body ached, feeling as though he had been dragged for miles. 

He glanced down at the dried blood on his shoulder and suddenly, all memories of what had happened came flooding back. He remembered seeing Claude being held captive as he tried desperately to get to the archer’s side. He remembered hearing Claude call his name as he lost consciousness.

_ Claude! _

Dimitri looked around once more for any signs of Claude. He saw none but he could hear a commotion coming from outside the broken door of the building. He strained his ears to listen to what it was the people outside were speaking out and a few moments later, he caught sight of a man. 

He was standing tall and observing something in front of him with disturbing intensity, a sly smile on his chapped and bloody lips. Dimitri wondered what he was so interested in.

A few moments later, there was a scream, loud and filled with pain, but familiar. He knew immediately who it was that was screaming and began to struggle in his bounds, ignoring the growing ache that spread throughout his entire body.

"Claude!" Dimitri bellowed. The man turned to him with mild interest and walked into the building, kicking at what remained of the door. The scattered pieces of wood flew in Dimitri’s direction but Dimitri paid it little attention. He sent a seething glare at the man, attempting to break out of his bounds once more but he could not summon his strength in his weakened state.

"You do not need to worry about him. He is in capable hands." The man said and there was another scream that made Dimitri grind his teeth together. "He has been naughty and needs to be taught a simple lesson."

"What have you done?" Dimitri demanded and tried to yank his way out of the rope, wincing at the way the harsh rope tugged at his wrists. He was still too weak to do anything other than struggle in his bonds.

The man knelt beside him, regarding him with an uninterested look. "Me? I have done nothing. I tried— believe me— and I got a split lip because of it. However, I do not think he will be able to use his right arm for some time."

Dimitri's eyes hardened with rage but he says nothing, much to the man's dismay. 

"Your friend, Claude, you said? He said you are stronger than ten men and your wrath alone will be enough to have my head." The man smirked at the surprised look on Dimitri's face. "Oh… Did you think he did not believe in you?”

Dimitri chooses to remain quiet, trying to control his breathing. Trying not to let the anger get to him. This man might be trying to get a rise out of him and Dimitri would rather not give him that pleasure. 

The man shrugs nonchalantly. “I lied to him and told him I had harmed you to the point where you would meet death soon and he went berserk. Your friend has an interesting ability, one that I'm afraid I had to examine."

Dimitri blinked, surprised and worried at this, then he felt angry. He was angry because Claude had gotten himself in trouble by defending him.

"Foolish man." Dimitri murmured to himself but the man heard and laughed.

"That is new." His hand went to run through Dimitri’s blond hair, yanking back enough to expose Dimitri’s neck. "Normally, those in this situation would fight to protect the other, not insult them."

"You do not know us." Dimitri hissed, blue eye blazing.

The man's interest was piqued at this. "And who are you?" The answer was immediate:

"You should not ask questions you know you will not receive an answer to, you spineless pig." Dimitri spits at the man’s face, his rage getting the better of him. 

To say that the man was angry would be an understatement. He was furious at Dimitri’s action and the pure rage and hatred Dimitri’s words carried. He reached in his boot and pulled out a blade, holding it to Dimitri’s neck hard enough to draw blood but after a moment, he paused.

"I see." The man said tensely then stood up, pocketed his blade, and left the building.

A few minutes had passed, the noise outside had halted, and Dimitri worried the man had left him alone to go torture Claude because of his foolish actions. But he came back and with him, was Claude. Claude was unconscious as the man dragged him towards Dimitri and Dimitri could see a trail of an alarming amount of blood following Claude. 

Dimitri tried to pillow his fall when the man tossed Claude unceremoniously on the floor in front of him, but Dimitri’s hands were still tied. He watched helplessly as Claude’s body hit the ground and even in his unconscious state, Claude cried out in pain.

"See that the runt is taken care of." The man said then pulled out his dagger and cut Dimitri loose.

Dimitri weighed his options; he could fight back now and overpower the man but there were more men outside and they would not hesitate to kill them both at the first sign of resistance. And with Claude unconscious and bleeding... It would be better to comply and form a plan of escape. But oh how he wanted to murder the man who had dared to insult Claude. So Dimitri slowly crawled to Claude, gently placing him upon his lap. He didn't hear the man leave the building because he was too busy observing Claude.

"You are reckless and foolish," Dimitri murmured then winced when he saw the long cut along his right arm. It was still bleeding and ran from the wrist to the elbow, the lines jagged as if Claude had fought the whole way they carved through him. Dimitri felt a familiar rage bubble up his throat. "I hope, for your own sake, you do not wake up to feel this pain."

But a few hours later, Claude stirred in Dimitri’s arms, wincing when he lifted his right arm.

"Stay still." Dimitri said. Earlier, he had crawled to one of the torn articles of clothing spread around the building and used it as a bandage to try and stop the bleeding. It had worked so far but Dimitri was worried about the wound getting infected.

Claude’s eyes opened with some difficulty and he stared up at Dimitri for longer than a minute. "I thought they killed you." He finally whispered.

Dimitri turned away from those emerald eyes. "It was a ploy to get you to lash out. It seems it worked and now look where that has led you." Dimitri answered, bitterly.

"It did."

Dimitri glared down at him.

"Why did you let their words get to you?"

Claude shifted with a quiet gasp and settled into Dimitri’s arms. "I shouldn’t have to say why it bothered me so much. I did what I felt was right at the moment." His gaze turned away from Dimitri, dropping down to his right arm and his eyes glazed. Dimitri assumed he was thinking of some past memory, perhaps back to when they carved through him or perhaps to happier times than these.

There was a mounting anger in Dimitri as he saw how hollow his eyes had quickly become.

"You are foolish to fight for a man who is already dead." When he didn't move, Dimitri continued, his words now fueled with guilt and rage at having to see Claude like this because of him. "What we had in the past is nothing more than a memory. You and I are two different people. There is no point dwelling on something that will never be again. There is no point in fighting for this- _for us. _I wish for you to see reality."

Claude looked up at his last sentence, his eyes showing grief, confusion, and something Dimitri could not place. It bothered Dimitri that he still did not show signs of hating him as everyone else had done. He couldn’t understand it. His hands gripped a handful of Claude’s shirt and Claude was pulled towards Dimitri.

"You are so stupid!" Dimitri cried. "Why will you not let me go?!"

"Dimitri." Claude gasped, wincing at the shock of pain his right arm was causing him. With much difficulty, Claude placed his left hand on Dimitri's cheek. "Enough." He pleaded.

Dimitri closed his eyes, unconsciously leaning against his touch, then their lips met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are some slow updates huh?


End file.
